thisyellowrose

05:52 pm

I was never one of those little kids who tried to run away from home. While there was plenty to run from I never actually packed my Fraggle Rock tote bag and hit the road. I never did the walk down one block and come back because you realized you weren't allowed to cross the road bit. But now I'm 20, I'm in college and home is a feeling more than an actual place, but I want to run away. I may have traded my Fraggle Rock tote for a floral purse from Gap or black bookbag but sometimes I want, more than anything, to back them with necessities and get the hell out of here. Not to leave and go home, but to leave, to run away all on my own to someplace I've never been before, to a place with good food and safe place to sleep where the demands and obligations of my everyday life vanish like they never even existed.
The practical part of me tells me that this will never happen, can never happen, there's too much at stake and pseudo-adults like myself aren't allowed such silly irresponsible things. But I think about...and someday I will do it. I'll leave a note pinned somewhere that just says "Gone for now" and off I'll go to finally have "my run away from home"...

03:25 am

Tara has inspired me to once again take up the live journal,why not? These are certainly times that deserve and maybe even require documentation. It's almost 3:30 in the morning and while I am tired, I am content. So often the drama of us all bogs me down, the choices I do and don't make make me unhappy, the things I want but can not obtain, the things I have that are unwanted and everything else between makes things too hard sometimes. But as Tara talked about her root self, there may also be a root life, and at the center of that, if you are very lucky, are good friends who make you laugh, are witness to things that are probably going to be embarrassing some day, who for a few moments while you are all as equally ridiculous there is a calm deep inside.
Is this a load of mumbo-jumbo, maybe it is, maybe to you, maybe to me later, who knows, I'm just telling it like it is...

Current Mood: off to bed...

10:32 pm

Alright I'm a lazy-ass so here's a very short summary of my life starting........now!

-I have a new cat named Oreo, I call him Double-Stuff because he's fat.
-I'm working two jobs; cleaning houses and slave labor at Old Navy.
-I'm playing a crazy southern slut bridesmaid in "A Marriage Can Be Murder".
-I've developed a Friends addiction and Rob is a fellow addict.
-I visited Jess and Bex and had a grand ol' time.
-I changed my name to Bo-Jangles*
-The weekend of August 27th brings The Fair, my year anniversary with Rob, my show, and finally the trip back to school.




















*this statement is not true




<3 As always, Bunnies

Current Mood: full

11:52 am

I'm down in Springfield, Day Two of the Washington D.C. trip...It's been pretty rainy and overcast but I can't complain because it's better to be out walking in the rain/grey weather than to be broiling in the sun. Yesterday Rob and I went to the National Gallery of Art, we spent most of our time in the East Building and had lunch in the cafe in the sculpture garden. It was a pretty nice day, not sure what's on the agenda for today... It has been awesome, as always, to see Liam, he's grown anoter 2-3 inches since I saw him over spring break, he just keeps getting taller. It's good to be down here.

On another note, I miss my NU Laddies, not ladies, but laddies, and if you're a laddie you'll know what I'm talking about <3




Bunnies

07:48 pm

Current Mood: drained

11:39 pm

As I sit here, ignoring the paper I should be writing for tomorrow, I can't help but become a little philosophical perhaps, and little nostalgic, and a rediculous blend of so many other things. The end of school year seems to always do this to me, and this is an end to a particularly amazing year. Amazing in its extreme highs and extreme lows, amazing in the day to day battles and celebrations that seemed to come and go with little warning, and some times little explantion.
I suppose I want to preface things by saying a little bit about me before I say anything about anyone else. I love. I have compassion. I have dreams and hopes and rediculous desires. And I think that this can occasionally be forgotten and overlooked because of my general dispostion. I am aware of my moods and my tendency to withdraw from everyone. And baring in mind that this particular medium is not the best way to explain myself I will of course be rather general in my statements but try to cover as much as I possibly can... Yes, I withdraw from everyone, and my friends, especially those here at school feel the brunt of it but I don't do it because I feel that you are somehow undeserving of my time, of your presence, but because I feel that I don't truly belong with you, I am not truly welcomed. I have my faults and I am infintely aware of them, to the point that they cause more problems. So I have a tendency to keep to myself. Also I will never be able to be unfailingly kind to every person I encounter, I will never be able to be kind to people I feel do not truly deserve it, I will never be the girl that charms everyone. But thinking that this is the absolute definition of me is unfair. Not to say that this is the way that so many think of me, but some do.

This year has been a testimony to perseverance, we survived, we helped each other when we could, and in many ways I think we became all the better for it and from it. I include so many in this statement, the entire theatre department, my everyday friends, my closest friends here; the girls, my friends backhome, my boyfriend, and even some of my family. We are still here, we are still alive and everyday we find reasons to be grateful for that...
So many of us are so grateful that this school year is over, in some ways desperate to be anywhere but here. And at the same time finding it hard to say goodbye, and perhaps finding fault with those that do not find it so hard.
So please know that I love you.
Simply, I love you.


For now that's all I can say.

11:59 pm

I noticed that everyone has what their birthdate means posted...
but I won't post mine, it said I would be a good mother, what kind of birthdate-break-down is that?
boo

Current Mood: stressed

08:45 am

This is what little sleep does to you:

"I have to go punch this baby out of my butt"

Thank you Jessica.

Current Mood: crazy

06:27 pm

Where have all the cowboys gone?

08:39 pm

Despite it all I have hope.
I have hope becaue I have love.
I love because I have you.



Friends, family, a true love...







struggling...
but finding my way minute by minute, day by day

06:11 pm

I watched the QVC channel for a few minutes this afternoon,it disturbed me that the two women selling the TriOral Action, were perpetually smiling and blinking in an almost syncopated manner. And if their plastic smiles and odd blinks and almost tic-like nods weren't enough, they actually had pictures and charts to show what bad breath was and looked like, there were lots of yellow arrows and black blobs...it was very strange to say the least.

07:26 pm

BOO FOR NOT GETTING AN APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOO FOR GETTING MY CAR STUCK IN THE SNOW AND HAVING TO HAVE TO GUYS THAT I DO NOT KNOW PUSH IT OUT
BOO FOR HAVING TO THEN PARK IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND THUSLY BEING LATE TO CLASS
BOO FOR THE EVIL CARD CHECkER THING EATING MY CARD SO THAT I HAD TO PRY IT OUT WITH MY CAR KEYS
BOO FOR ALL THE OTHER LITTLE STUPID THINGS THAT MAKE ME PISS AND MOAN LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD TODAY

TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Current Mood: pissed off

06:53 pm

Whoooaaawoahwoah, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Whoaaawowowowoahhhhh, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!






That's for you Tara Lawton <3



Let's hear it for sunshine:)

Current Mood: Hahahahahahaaaa

11:39 am

"I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does."

I posted this before in an entry back in November, and I couldn't help but post it again. I have a 5 page paper, an assload of confusing lines to have memorized for acting, a revised prospectus for Brendan, all due on Tuesday. And I haven't done any of it. And I don't particularly regret it. Because I spent time with my family, much needed time with Rob, and my time down here in DC is much better spent playing with Liam and catching up on the sleep that I generally do without, despite my constant napping. And Monday I will work like crazy to shurn out a paper and a prospectus. And I will try to work on my lines on the plane ride back. But when my lines aren't mamorized and Paul asks me why, I'll tell him that my priorities were with my 5 year-old brother who is growing up too fast. Maybe that's not where my priorities belong, I'm sure Paul won't see it that way, but knowing I tired to make the most out of my time with Liam means a lot more to me than knowing that I got an "A" because I studied hard.


Anyway, flying home tonight. Rob will be there to pick me up and there's just something romantic about that <3


Tomorrow is BUNNY DAY!!!

09:39 pm

Faith

Current Mood: freezing

09:54 pm

Wow, it seems like everyone is having crazy dreams as of late and I have to say that as new age-y crazy it sounds, I've been looking up my particularly weird dreams at this online dream dictionary site and some of it has been helpful...and some of it has been absolute crap, but it's fun if nothing else.
I'm down in VA right now, just minutes outside of our nation's capital. I'm very happy that tomorrow I have the house to my self, I intend to make full use of this and sleep alllllllllll day. On Thursday Liam, Julie and I wil be going to the Air and Space museum and on Friday my dad and I are supposed to go to the National Art Gallery. SO it should be a good time while I'm down here. I already spent a lot of time tickling Liam and playing rediculous games with him. Has anyone seen a show called Mucha Lucha? It's bizarre and has next to no plot, but is actually pretty funny. Liam was watching it tonight and it soon became a family affair.
We also might go see Robots while I'm down here, not sure if this is actually going to be a decent movie, but Robin Williams is one of the voices and he is a god, so I have a little faith.
I'm hoping this trip will be the final blow to the funk that the itch for spring had brought on. Spending time with Rob helped enormously, but I'm hoping sleep and crazy 5 year old fun finshes off the rest.
It's supposed to get up past the 50's here, bring out the bikinis!

Annnnnnnnnd it's 10 o'clock and I can hardly stay awake...fantastic.
ooooooookay.

P.S. I heart Easter because there are Bunnies everywhere!!!

Current Mood: amused

08:55 pm

HAPPY ST.PATRICKS DAY!
I heart the day of drink

11:07 am

Where did all this friggin' snow come from?!!!
There was grass visible....
AND NOW IT'S BURIED UNDER 6 INCHES OF SNOW!
WITH MORE YET TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: irritated

09:34 pm - For love

So I'll give a little bit
I'll give a lttle bit of my life for you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
Now’s the time that we need to share
So send a smile, we’re on our way back home
ooh yea yea
We gotta feel it
Yea yea yea yea...
Don't you need to feel at home
Ooo you gotta feel it
Yea you gotta want to
OO you gotta sing, we've come along way tonight

05:38 pm

In conection to my previous post I can't help but ask why when people are pelted in the face with snow, freezing rain, or plain ol' pain-in-the-ass-rain, that they announce to their friends that they have been "hit in the eyeball". It is as though "eye" is not acceptable, or good enough when you are describing being hit by weather. And it isn't as though I've heard one or two or even five people refer to this situation in this manner, but many, I've even heard it come out of my mouth with no thought behind it.
I just find this odd.....and on this campus, it's something that's bound to happen again and again...
You don't say I got poked in the eyeball, I have something in my eyeBALL, he had a patch over one eye....ball?
SO why is this different...

Current Mood: hmmmm...